Tuesday, February 3, 2009

T Rider Personalities: The Official List

The passengers of the T are a peculiar bunch. They come from all walks of life representing the various demographics/cultures that make up the city of Boston. Whether it be a businesswoman commuting to the Financial District, or a stay at home father taking his kids on a trip to the Museum of Science, one thing is for certain: they are all a little bit off their rockers.

This is why I have decided to dedicate this blog entry to the different T-rider personalities that I have come across in my travels.

1. “The Panicky Exit-er” This is the person who thinks that they will not have enough time to exit the T, and therefore must move close to the door many stops in advance (most likely to occur on the Green Line). This is annoying because I am usually forced to move out of the way by said exit-er, which causes me to have to release the pole/seat I was holding on to and risk falling.

2. “The Crowd-er” This is the person who wedges himself/herself on the already too crowded T at the last minute before the doors close. This is one of the most annoying offenses of T riding, and usually occurs on the Green Line. You can also recognize this person by the odd odor radiating from their body.

3. “The Wannabe at the Club-er” This is the person who is listening to his music so incredibly loud that you can hear it through the headphones. It is never a song that you actually like, but rather a terribly annoying racket with the same techno beat on repeat. I can only surmise that this person mistook the T for a dance club. You can also recognize this person by the shiny shirt he will be wearing.

4. “The Crazy” This is pretty self explanatory. I don’t know where this person comes from or where they are going, but you can clearly tell that they are crazy. And they always sit in the empty seat next to me.

5. “The Annoying Tweens” This is the group of annoying pre-teens that I always seem to be stuck with riding in the same car. They talk at a decibel that is unnaturally loud and they cannot for the life of them balance on the T. Also, at least one tween in the group will be eating a Wendy’s Frosty.

6. “The Wobbler” This is the person who cannot balance on the T, even while holding onto a pole or handle. Yes, the T does stop short causing everyone to lurch forward every so often, however, this person might as well be standing on stilts. They almost always end up stepping on my toes.

7. “The Talker” This one is pretty self-explanatory. I have had the good fortune of not being talked to on the T by random strangers that often, however, I am including this one in my list because a lot of people have said they have been randomly chatted up by a fellow T passenger.

8. “The Tourist” This one also speaks for itself. My biggest grievance toward “The Tourist” is a phrase that I have coined the “pole hug.” The “pole hug” is when you put your entire arm around the pole so that your whole body touches it making it impossible for anyone else to grab on. Usually I remedy this situation by making a huge deal of squeezing my hand onto the one visible inch of pole that is not being smothered by “The Tourists’” body. He or she is usually taken aback by my aggressive behavior, but soon after detaches him or herself from the length of the pole. “The Tourist” can also be disguised as the “The Panicky Exit-er” (see #1).

9. “The Stroller Mom” This is the person (usually a female), who gets on the T with a huge contraption resembling a stroller of sorts. She usually parks her stroller right in front of the door making it impossible to enter or exit the T without stubbing your toe or coming dangerously close to stepping on their child.

10. “The Cute Guy Who Never Sits Next To You” This person is the extremely attractive male who occasionally gets on the same T as you. He eyes the seat next to you, but bypasses it for one further in the train. Immediately after “The Crazy” (see #4) enters the T and sits in the empty seat next to you.

11. “The Over the Shoulder Reader” This is the person who thinks it is socially acceptable to read over your shoulder. While this does not physically affect me, I find it extremely annoying.

12. “The PDA Couple” This is the couple who you are forced to stand smushed up against, who completely ignore the fact that they are in the middle of the most un-romantic place on earth.

13. “The Sigh-er” This is the person whose answer to any sort of disturbance during their T ride is a loud, annoyed sigh (usually accompanied by an eye roll). I will be the first to admit my annoyance when the T is not running on schedule, however, when I am near “The Sigh-er” I often find myself wishing for another disabled train delay to see how irritated this person can get.

That’s my final list for now, but stay tuned because I will be on the lookout for more T-rider personalities.

Happy Riding!


Yuval Shavit said...

I'm slightly a #1 on the red line in the morning. It's not that I'm panicked, it's that there's a huge bottleneck going up the stairs -- so it's better to be at the front, where I can go through quickly, than at the back, where I have to wait up for the slowpokes. You never know when those extra few seconds make the difference between making or missing the D-line train that only comes every 15 minutes!

Other than that, I'm usually a sleeper or reader. Or a #10.

Colin Steele said...

14. The Blogger: The person who is watching your every move on the T. If you knew she was on your car, you'd get your finger out of your nose pronto.

Anonymous said...

I didn't see myself in the list: the claustrophobic whose white knuckles flare up as the T goes underground. Luckily, this does not seem to annoy other riders. Lucy.

The Blog of Steel(e) said...

The college freshmen. There are many sub-categories of college freshmen in the Boston area, all equally annoying.

Big said...

All of these made me laugh out loud. I worry about being a #3 and having my music loud. I often turn it down, but then I end up listening to a bunch of #5s, so I turn it up again.

Anonymous said...

What about the type that I meet every morning and evening on my commute - the one who stands riiiiiight by your seat so that every time he swings around or jolts, you get whacked across the head by his bag? He is the reason why my hair looks like this.

Brow said...

I was disappointed by the Talker. I thought for sure this was the unreasonably loud cell phone conversation about something I would only write on paper and hand to someone else secretly...


And his cell phone reception is undaunted by tunnel travel.

Otherwise it was brilliant, and why are you on the Green Line that much? Did you take classes at BU?

AngelaFrey said...

Brow--I take the green line two stops to Arlington street for work.

Don't judge me for not walking.

Senorita Kookypants said...

I have encountered a rare breed called "The Next American Idol": This person likes to sing along with their ipod and serenade their fellow T riders. The more intense their love for the song grows, the louder they get. Bonus points if they are singing their "own original work".

love the blog!